8 lessons I learnt too late in life.
Crucial for staying focused, overcoming obstacles, and forming lasting habits.
Most of what I know now, I learned the hard way:
Not from books.
Not from courses.
Not from podcasts with buzzwords and fancy titles.
Time taught me…
These lessons were earned through mistakes, regret, late nights, broken relationships, and moments of deep silence.
Instead of spending months figuring these out for yourself.
You’ll learn it all in a _ minute read.
1 - Important people come and go.
Accept and don’t hold on too tight.
Growing up, you’ll naturally lose people around you.
It’s a part of life.
That same guy you knew in high school is not the same guy in his 20s.
Thats a fact.
I didn’t think this was real. But it is…
Sometimes you can’t ignite old relationships. Sometimes you can…
You have to learn to accept this as reality.
People change lifestyle’s (Haven’t you?)
They get a job, form new friendships, find enjoyment out of new things.
In my honest opinion… If you haven’t changed in the last 5 years… Your doing something wrong.
Allow people to come or go. Don’t beat yourself up.
There may even be periods in your time, ‘limbo’ where you’re a lone wanderer.
Don’t let it keep you sheltered, hiding away.
Stick to your lifestyle. Important people will find you.
2 - Diet is more than what you eat.
Watch what you consume.
I don’t give af about my calorie intake.
I don’t weigh my food.
I don’t track my macros.
I eat real. I eat clean.
But thats not what i’m getting at here…
No…
You’re diets more than just what you eat.
It’s what you watch, listen too, read, speak about, wear, do…
If you eat good, but still scroll social media for 6hrs a day.
You’re going to look like someone who scrolls 6hrs a day.
Same with music. This shit is really powerful.
If you listen to Rap 24/7, you rewire your brain into believing that’s your lifestyle.
Why do you think women are the way they are after listening to artists like, Doja cat, sexy redd and ice spice.
There’s a time and place for Eminem, 50 Cent, Bugzy Malone.
It shouldn’t be all you vibe too.
3 - Sometimes you have to let people down.
Put yourself first, the true ones will stay.
There comes point in your life, when you need to make change.
Start something new, do something you love.
So you don’t miss the chance.
This will probably upset some people around you.
They may not like this change in you.
This withheld attention.
This new focus you have.
But, seriously,
fuck them.
If they ain’t gonna stick with you now, they shouldn’t stick with you when you get to where you want to be.
Take this lightly, I ain’t telling you to go drop everyone around you, but doing what you enjoy shouldn’t have people shitting on you.
Do what you want.
Let the change filter out the fake from the real.
4 - Fairy tales lie. Write your own legacy.
Life isn’t like the films or the books.
There’s never a ‘happy ending’
Life is a constant trial and error.
A priority in which you have to focus on each day.
Piece by piece you build your own happiness.
Write your own legacy.
Can’t lie, if life what as simple as a fairytale. It would be short and boring.
Get out in the world.
Learn what makes you feel alive.
Practice that everyday.
You’ll succeed.
5 - Every time you fail take it as a learning lesson.
Consistency will lead you to success.
Linking back to the last lesson.
Trial and error.
Don’t take failure as a reason to give up.
I’ve failed multiple times in my life.
Realtionships, business, goals…
I said to myself, before i’m 25, i’ll be making 10k a month remotely.
I have 1 year left. and only now do I feel like somethings going to work.
I tried multiple ways to get there. You name it I probably tried it.
To most I look like a failure.
If I looked at myself as one, I wouldn’t be carrying on.
But nothings a failure. It is just not meant to be.
Write down your fuck ups, What you learnt from it.
Get back on your feet, wipe off the dirt and get back to it.
A mini lesson from this lesson.
When I said:
“To most I look like a failure.”
I learnt quickly to with hold my latest idea to make it.
It only just put extra pressure on you.
When you fail, thats all they see, and sometimes, they push for your downfall.
It’s hard to judge who is with you or not.
So your best bet is to keep your lips sealed.
6 - Everything in your life is in your power.
Take responsibility of where you were, are and will be.
This one stung.
It is easier to blame others. To point fingers. To play small.
Yet at some point, I had to face the mirror and say:
"You’re where you are because of what you’ve tolerated."
That doesn’t mean everything was my fault. But everything is my responsibility now.
Own your life. No one else will.
7 - Quality over quantity.
The world’s painted a picture of having more is better.
More friends
More likes
More Trainers
More anything….
Until you realise you're full but still hungry for more….
After I learnt this, I chose quality over quantity.
One real friend over 100 followers.
One hour of deep work over 10 hours of procrastination.
One honest conversation over endless small talk.
Quality clothing over endless fast fashion pieces.
Once you free up your environment, you mentally free up space.
One challenge I set for myself:
All my possessions should fit into a cabin sized bag.
This gave me the clarity I needed.
8 - You never remember the amount of money you spent.
You’ll remember on the memories you made.
You won’t remember the paychecks.
You won’t remember the likes.
You won’t remember the followers.
Instead.
You’ll remember the road trips.
The deep laughs.
The early mornings.
The moments that made you forget your phone even existed.
Build a life worth remembering, not snap chatting…
I wish I learned these sooner.
But maybe I wasn’t ready.
Maybe you are.
Take what you need.
Leave the rest.
Apply one.
Apply all.
Just don’t wait as long as I did.
Take Control,
Cal.
Thank you for taking the time to read, my unfiltered, unedited, zero AI post.
I am writing daily on Substack now.As a challenge for myself, to improve my writing but also shape YOU, as the reader into a mentally and physically capable being.
If you ever want to send forward feedback, questions or request for detailed write ups, my inbox is always open on Twitter (X) @Cal_Optimal